January 2012
23 posts
“I’d call him racist, but I’m pretty sure he was Asian.”
– Tori. (via donotquotemeontumblr)
robot boy: Cookies, Naja style →
najalater:
Here is a detailed photoblog on how I bake cookies. Today I am baking what I will call leftover cookies. This is because I have a few half-slabs of chocolate and half-bags of chopped nuts in my cupboard left over from other baking activities and am using them as an excuse to bake cookies.
…
“Well, I think you’re just going to have to put your foot down.”
– Tori’s mum, to her amputee friend. (via donotquotemeontumblr)
australian summers :(
barbecueplease:
The best parking space is determined by shade instead of distance. Hot water comes out of both taps. You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron. The temperature drops below 35c and you feel a little chilly. You discover that it only takes two fingers to steer your car. You discover that you can get sunburnt through your car window. You develop a fear...
“Realizing that other people have a problem with [homosexuality] was the weirdest...”
– Daniel Radcliffe (via holymotherofrowling)
DanRad is one of those celebrities I ended up loving regardless of the fact that I’m not really a “fan” of any of his work, because he’s just that brilliant that I sort of can’t not
(via telescopics)
All of the love.
(via imthejb)
Life is like Twilight
kaleidoscopesftw:
Life is like being forcibly trapped in a movie theatre watching twilight. Half the people there are crazy and attached to it. The other half just want to make it through without having a mental breakdown.
How to know you're a white girl at the club:
breaking—point:
manthatburns:
You show up already drunk
You make terrible attempts at hitting on the bartender for cheap drinks
You mysteriously lose $50
Your friend pulls you off a sleazy 30 year old grinding you with his boner
You repeatedly tell your friends that they’re beautiful, you love them, and you should hang out more
You cry in the bathroom over someone who probably...
30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself
octaffle:
Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your...
December 2011
15 posts
imfamousontumblr:
what do you even do at a nightclub
like is there wifi
November 2011
37 posts
Bulk-buy warehouse.
Kat: Oh look! You can buy bulk condoms!
Tori: Don't they have an expiry, though?
Kat: Yeah, good point. I don't even think I could use that many before they expired. What are people thinking!?
Tori: Well, obviously they're thinking about getting busy...
*she looks back at all the condoms*
Tori: ...very busy.
Kat: Ohh, that's the trick!
Tori: Look! You can buy bulk pregnancy tests for the ones you use after their expiry date!
Kat: Hahaha- oooh, they're actually a really good price!
Jamie: LICK MY PUSSAAAAAAAAY
Tori: WELL TECHNICALLY I HAVE
Tori: BECAUSE YOU ARE A CUNTFACE
Tori: AND I HAVE LICKED YOUR FACE BEFORE
Got my nipple pierced yesterday
jamiejenkins:
lickmyballzz:
jamiejenkins:
wooooooooo
fuck yeah babe
fuck yeah when it heals gone be sooo good
YOU PEOPLE REVOLT ME. YUCK. EW. GROSS. CLAMFACES.
“That guy was just running and his rat’s tail was fluttering behind in the breeze...”
– Jamie. (via donotquotemeontumblr)